Parenting, work and your own wellbeing

Being a parent is a big job in itself and when you add in work, childcare, money worries and everything else life throws at you, it can sometimes feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done. It's easy to find yourself constantly doing things for other people whilst putting your own needs at the bottom of the to-do list, but you matter too and looking after your own wellbeing is really important.

Finding a routine that works for you

As parents, we can feel selfish or guilty when we do things just for ourselves but small things that make your days a little easier can make a real difference to your mental health in the long run. Parenting is marathon, not a sprint, and you've got to save energy for the years to come. If you're feeling low, having some kind of routine can make life feel more manageable. Your routine doesn't have to be perfect or instagram worthy so start by thinking about the essential things that need to be done, rather than trying to fit everything in. Anything you get done on top of that list is a bonus and you might start to identify things you can prepare in advance to help the next day feel less chaotic.  If you're struggling to balance work commitments, speak to your employer about what options are available to you. They might be able to explore different shift patterns to ease the pressure within your routine or may even have employee community groups within the organisation that can make you feel less alone. Find what works for you, your family and your employer as you aim for perfect moments rather than perfection.

A few things to try this week

Feeling exhausted all of the time comes with the parenting experience but when you're also working or studying, that tiredness can really add up. Burnout is real so whilst you might not be able to get more sleep, but there are things you can do to help:

• Try to eat regular meals rather than relying on snacks and caffeine to get their the day.

• Stay hydrated by keeping a water bottle nearby.

• Give yourself permission to rest when you have the chance and don't feel like you have to use every spare minute to get things done.

• Explore opportunities to get out of the house - family hubs are great for baby and you as you'll meet other parents and start building a community of friendly faces to brighten your days. Look out for other parenting groups, nursery events and community support who also host free coffee mornings, wellbeing walks and more.

• If someone offers to help, consider saying yes, and if you're struggling on alone, you won't be judged for seeking support.

• Make time for you - being a mum of dad can feel like your whole identity at times but you're still you. Try to keep hold of some of the things that make you feel like yourself whether that's playing games, going to the gym or being creative. It doesn't have to be hours but finding even 10 minutes to do something you enjoy will help.

  
  

What if everything feels like too much?

Everyone has difficult days and it's important you know that you are allowed to ask for help. Perhaps you're battling with post-natal depression or maybe you're feeling overwhelmed by anxiety but by seeking support you're taking the first step to restoring your mental health. If you're struggling to cope, you can start by talking to someone you trust or a professional for advice. Your GP, health visitor, employer, college or local organisations like IAF will be able to talk through your concerns and/or point you in the right direction for support. If you're feeling like you might hurt yourself or someone else and you're in immediate danger during a mental health crisis though, seek urgent help by calling Nottinghamshire's 24/7 Crisis Line on 0808 196 3779.